Magnifying God Through My Miscarriage

You might be wandering how someone could magnify God through a miscarriage, but I had a unique experience with my second miscarriage that allowed me to magnify God in the midst of sorrow...

At the end of 2009, I found out that I was pregnant, and the whole family was so thrilled. All seemed to be going well until February of 2010. It was then that I no longer felt symptoms of morning sickness, and I began to start cramping in my lower back. As the days passed, I started experiencing symptoms of a miscarriage. I told my husband about it, and he immediately prayed with me. I tried to get into the doctor’s office right away. At this point in time, I was about 16 weeks along in the pregnancy. When I went to my appointment, the dreaded news was confirmed. An ultrasound revealed that there was no heartbeat. As my heart sunk within me, my doctor explained my two options of either having a DNC or having the baby at home naturally. Since I regretted the DNC that I had with my first miscarriage, I was not willing to go that route.

Upon deciding to have the baby at home, my doctor prayed with me. She asked the Lord to give me a quick delivery with the least amount of pain. After her prayer, she warned me that the baby might be without form because the ultrasound’s measurements indicated that he was only 12-13 weeks in development. So, apparently he passed away three to four weeks before this visit. She wanted me to be mentally prepared for that.

The Lord honored that prayer, and the next morning my body was preparing to deliver the baby. I woke up with severe cramps as if I was going into labor, just not as painful. My husband and children were sadly anticipating the inevitable. A part of me was eager to see my little one who would not open his eyes in this world. Yet, another part of me was not ready to see him lifeless and without form. However, the time came, and I delivered my son who fit in the palm of my hand. To my surprise, he was perfectly intact-with eyes, nose, arms, and legs fully formed. As the emotion of sorrow began to overtake me, another emotion immediately replaced it.

When I placed his little body (small, but big enough to see that he was a boy) in my hand, I was overwhelmed with awe and wonder. I have seen pictures of babies at their 12 week stage, but holding my own in my hand was so incredible. The feeling of God’s presence was so strong. Holding my son at this stage of development was surreal. Tears flowed but not from the death of my son (since I had been grieving for several days now). The tears came from a heart that could only praise and magnify God for His creative power. Just to consider how a life develops in the womb is so mind boggling! Not only did I get to see him fully intact, but he was in a position that I will never forget. He was laying in a “fetal” position with one hand across his stomach while his head rested on the other hand as if he was sleeping peacefully. I couldn’t believe that I was able to see him like this. It’s almost like my son was telling me that everything was fine. He was safe in the arms of Jesus. In my mind, I just kept thanking God for letting me see my baby fully formed and physically developed enough to express himself before his last heartbeat.

After a few seconds, I took him near my husband so that he could see him, but he was hesitant to look. I reassured him that our son was fully formed. My husband was amazed just to see him laying in a peaceful sleeping position. He then took him in his hand—and his entire body fit within my husband’s palm. His tiny form seemed to convey a great message: don’t be sad; I am in Heaven; so just magnify God because He is worthy to be praised! I couldn’t help but feel like my son was giving me this message as I held him in the palm of my hand. I will never forget this amazing experience, and I anticipate resurrection day when I will see him again. I will always remember magnifying God through my miscarriage...

( The Lord has blessed me with 8 children; 5 that are living and 3 in Heaven. I have experienced 3 miscarriages up to this point in my life, but I am eagerly anticipating Heaven where I know I will meet them one day. Our family will never forget about the three precious lives that I was so blessed to carry in my womb for a few months.)

Suggested Resources

“Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child”
by John MacArthur

If you’ve faced the death of an unborn child or infant, this book is an amazing resource that will scripturally confirm that you’re baby is in heaven. Pastor John Mac Arthur uses scriptural authority to answer such questions as, “Can you hope to see them again?” and “Can you let go of your fear and guilt?” Not only this, he reveals God’s amazing care for every life including the precious babies who die in the womb.

“Grieving the Child I Never Knew - A Devotional Companion for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born Child” by Kathe Wunneberg

Hannah’s Prayer Ministries - www.hannah.org
This is a Christian support ministry for fertility challenges or the death of a baby any time from conception through early infancy.